MAKING A CHANGE FOR GOOD:
A Guide to Compassionate Self-Discipline,
by Cheri Huber

Oh, it’s January again. Time for all of those resolutions. And three weeks later we have something else to whip ourselves about, more likely than not.

Clearly, this doesn’t work. But what will? What enables us to make changes in our lives without using the wish for change as a prickly goad or another item for our failure list?

Zen teacher Cheri Huber explains that the help we are looking for is really found in self-acceptance and kindness toward ourselves. She speaks of “compassionate self discipline” which is not found by any cruel, demanding or stringent method, but rather by allowing ourselves to be guided by our innate intelligence and generosity. To do that, we must stay in the present moment. Not in the future with its fears, or the past with its castigations. Staying in past and future is distracting. It’s where our “conditioned mind” wants us to be. If we cultivate our ability to pay attention and focus on what is here in this moment, we find ourselves living a life that is awake, honest, and joyful. We find our truest selves.

I especially found useful her explanation of “egocentric karmic conditioning” (that voice of self-hate and criticism that drones on, soft or loud but almost always constant, in our minds whenever we look at our accomplishments or desires). “The most important thing to know about self-hate,” she says, “is that it is not you!” And when you realize that, it’s a lot easier to simply observe what it is saying and not “buy into” the abuse.

Huber includes three chapters that deal with common habits or situations we all work on at various times: self discipline and eating, self discipline and time management, and self discipline and self improvement. In each chapter her gentle words lead one to self-examination not in a way that will chastise, but in a way that enables us to become gently aware of our actions, so that we can disengage from them without having to punish ourselves even further to get where we want to go.

There are exercises throughout the book to help explain her concepts, and a guided thirty-day program of daily meditation, contemplation, and journaling that, if used, should make January and your list of resolutions more successful -- and a lot less painful.

For more information on the author, Cheri Huber, visit her website at www.cherihuber.com.