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  REROUTING OPPORTUNITIES
I’m very different from everyone else in
my family. For them, failure is shameful, not to
be discussed, and you either succeed at something
or don’t bother doing it at all. That’s
why they tend to think of me as a failure, even
though I’m not.
For me, there isn’t the idea of failure.
It’s a rerouted opportunity. If this didn’t
work, how about this? Or this? Or this? And if
something has failed, then what can I take from
it to use where I know there is a success waiting
to happen around the corner?
Example: the cruise I’ve been working on
all year. Time, money, dreams and encouragement
for everyone else involved – I gave it all
I had. Yet the US economy has trounced virtually
all of my clients. Everyone is cutting back on
driving, on food costs, on every discretionary
expense they have – and as a result, those
who might have gone without a moment’s hesitation
in years past have looked at it wistfully, said
it sounded like a great time, but they just couldn’t
swing it right now.
So, sadly, I pulled the plug on it in June. And
another psychic decided that she and her boyfriend
would take it over, change the focus, and see
if it sailed. I found out about it “through
the grapevine” rather than be told about
it straight out.
I refuse to see it as a failure. It’s a rerouted
opportunity – for me, and for the psychic
and her boyfriend. What did it teach me? That I
do solo gigs well and enjoy them more. What’s
around the corner for me? A solo gig ghostwriting
a major book, which appeared only AFTER I let
the cruise go. Why? The Universe knew I would
not have
time to do the book if I was still running the
cruise.
Therefore, that’s where my attention needs
to go: the new gig, the new opportunity. What
the psychic and her boyfriend choose to do is
for them
to decide. It's not mine to judge.
Next?
It’s not the first thing I’ve “failed” at,
according to the standard worldview. Back when
I was an Elfquest author, there was talk of my
going to Austria to do some fan engagements. Couldn’t
get it paid for, and at that point I wasn’t
flush enough myself. There have been novels I’ve
started – especially one very detailed World
War One piece – which lie, half-finished,
in the file cabinets in the basement. I’ve
tried pulling together a romantic weekend for
GLBT couples, but did not get the support from
the locals
that was required.
But for every failure, there have been wonderful
and wild successes:
-
No matter how perilous the
times, how difficult the job market, I have
always found work, and
been good at what I chose to do. If the career focus
had to change at various times, I didn’t
think of it as failure, but more “All
right – next?” And
every career gave me gifts and talents that
I am using right now as an intuitive counselor:
gifts
that I might not have if I had not had my
turns
as an executive recruiter…an editor…an
author…an actress…a radio host…a
television producer…an executive assistant
for more than one powerful CEO…and
more.
- My current marriage has benefited
from the previous two which did not last. The
strength of our
partnership would not exist if there had not been lessons
and failures on which to build a more solid foundation
for us.
- I took a solo career in an atypical field from
zero to full time, respected
and prosperous in five years.
- I’ve gone three
times around the dance floor with cancer and
gotten off in
one piece each time. Scarred, yes – but only on
the outside.
- I’ve pulled
together countless teams
for cancer walks, Big Brothers/Big
Sisters, food
pantries, Habitat houses.
- Most
importantly, through my failures, rebounds
and resilience, I’ve
inspired others
to believe that they, too,
can reroute
their opportunities.
Thomas
Edison – he of the more than one thousand
successful patents – is
famous for saying, “I
didn’t fail ten
thousand times. I successfully
eliminated, ten thousand
times, materials and
combinations which
wouldn’t
work.”
That’s how I see things. It’s how I’ve
not only survived, but thrived, in circumstances
that would drive others to despair. Because there
is no such thing as failure. It’s another
chance to explore the world. And as long as you
are born, live, learn, love and pass on what you’ve
learned to just one
other person -- believe
me:
you have succeeded. |
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