As
we turn the calendar to February, we automatically
entrust our hopes for Spring on an over-fed,
furry rodent and listen to the smiling weatherman
predicting just more cold and snow. Alas, there
marked with a big red heart, is February 14th – Valentine's
Day! There is a rumor going around that a small,
naked cherub known as Cupid is polishing his
golden bow and dipping his arrowheads in milk
chocolate. With his hundreds of years of experience
flitting about on those tiny wings shooting
at matching hearts, one would expect that romance
could be entrusted to him. But he refuses to
wear his glasses and his poor eyesight makes
for very poor aim, indeed. Well, if we can't
trust Cupid to get it right and we dare not
listen
to hearts with a past history of poor judgment,
is the next step a psychic? Of course, the
reader will appreciate your business, but,
ultimately
YOU must depend on your own instincts when
it comes to matters of the heart. No amount
of tarot
readings or Cupid's arrows can force you to
allow love to enter your life, if you remain
guarded
against it.
Approximately 90% of my clients
ask regarding some aspect of that subject – a
current relationship which has hit emotional
snags, a
wonderful relationship which they just want
to “check
on” or a determined search for that
proverbial tall, dark stranger of their dreams.
Too many
worry if there is someone out there for them
but continually set the search aside in lieu
of more important and pressing demands --
school, career, health, family or creative
endeavors.
All it may take is for us to lift our heads
out of the daily rut and LOOK around.
Whoever
said that “love is blind” was
not kidding. Clients who exhibit love's
battle scars and poor self-esteem tell
me that they
want an honest, loving relationship, but
continue to place blame everywhere else
rather than taking
responsibility for only their actions.
Inspite of what they say, they remain doubtful
that
their situation will ever change. Those
who have lost “soul
mates” to death or tragic circumstances,
outwardly express no desire to fill that
empty space, but will still ask the cards
about possible
future love. Many people will actually
reject opportunities by which love may
enter their
lives by creating unconscious traps or
setting ridiculous
limitations. Staying safely behind a self-imposed
wall and within a comfort zone cannot completely
cushion against future pain or betrayal.
If they are courageous enough to chance
it and escape
their “pretty prison”, they
usually look back joyfully, once they have
healed.
The tarot is a great counseling tool when
it comes
to these situations. It can provide guidance
to re-find that “happy place” in
the past when a relationship was new and
filled with promise – or a peek at
a future relationship, if so desired.
As
Valentine's Day approaches, all thoughts
turn to romance -- or the lack, thereof.
Couples,
rush out to purchase heart-shaped cards,
fattening candy, and expensive flowers
and expect these
romantic gifts to demonstrate how much
they love each other. If you are single
and don't
want
to be, then greet this Valentine's Day
as your own object of affection. Instead
of
sending those
love tokens, give them to yourself — smell
the roses, savor that yummy candy and allow
yourself
the luxury of a few tears elicited by verses
from sappy Valentine cards. Before we can
expect that perfect mate to come galloping
in on the
white horse, sweep us off our feet, and
carry us off to wedded bliss in a golden
palace,
we must honor our own state of heart and
mind. Take
a personal reality check and determine
exactly where and why Cupid keeps missing
the mark.
You might be surprised at what you will
discover about your life. If your life
choices and
attitudes
are setting traps and pushing you into
them, it is time to do something about
it. Only
in the movies will your soul mate arrive
on your
doorstep, completely unbidden.
The term
soul mate is
confusing. According to “Wikipedia”,
Soulmate (or soul mate) is a term sometimes
used to designate someone with whom one
has a feeling
of deep and natural affinity, friendship,
love, intimacy, sexuality, and/or compatibility.
A
related concept is that of the twin flame
or twin soul – thought to be the
ultimate soul mate, the one and only other
half of one's
soul, for which all souls are driven to
find and join (note
1).
Well, that was as clear
as mud. These interchangeable terms both
describe a soul which is split
at creation and exists through many lifetimes
as
separate individuals. A more definitive
explanation describes a soul
mate as
one-half of a split
soul which exhibits opposite aspects
from the other — like a photograph negative;
same picture
but black where the other is white. They
are not necessarily good candidates for
happy marriages.
Romantic literature emphasizes the strong,
cosmic pull of these two opposites to
reconnect
with
each other, but ignores the roles a soul
mate may play in each other's life (I.e.,
teacher,
parent, child, friend, colleague, confidant,
etc.). More often than not, this individual
is a catalyst to us who displays the
characteristics we don't particularly like
about ourself
and
provides opportunities to work out Karmic
lessons.
However,
when two halves of a split soul individuate
as a twin flame, complimentary characteristics
are displayed. They are usually opposite genders
and exhibit both the positive and negative
aspects
of the original soul, equally. The correct
term for the over-whelming desire to find that
perfect
love mate in romance novels would be better
described as a twin flame. The fact is, one
may have many
soul mates, but only one twin
flame in their
lifetime.
Another definition that may
not sound quite as romantic, but I feel is
a much better
description
of that perfect mate: Divine complement – A
new colloquialism for a 'match made in heaven',
a twin soul, who holds inborn potentials that
match and complement one's own and who is linked
eternally through a signature in the heart
at the dimension of the spirit.
The tarot cards which
most often appear in love readings are the
emotional cards and refer to
the ebb and flow of water, life and emotions – The
Lover's Major Arcana Card and the Suit of Cups.
The King, Queen, Knight and Page of Cups usually
point out romantic interests or loving, supportive
people. The other Cups, indicate romantic experiences
which demand attention; both those soon enter
your life and those currently flowing around.
The Court Cards from the other suits can indicate
love interests, but usually represent other influences
in your life – both positive and negative.
Cards
of conflict may also appear in a love reading – The
Death Card, The Devil, The Tower, Three of
Swords,
etc. Although, they indicate troubled waters
and broken hearts, these cards demand a couple's
immediate attention if they wish to navigate
successfully through the inevitable chaos – perhaps,
avoid divorce or separation, altogether. These
fear-based cards indicate extreme and necessary
change. Only by understanding them, can we realize
that they may actually HELP with life's pitfalls.
The Death card is transition – the situation
must flex and change; since what has been has
ended (a type of death) and needs to be mourned.
A drastic change is being offered and if new
life-path possibilities are accepted, then, a
smooth transition may be expected. The
Tower is chaos – the sudden and forceful destruction
of old structures (relationships) which have
become outdated, immature and ineffective; leaving
only a foundation (rock) upon which hope may
be renewed. The Devil is cruelty and addiction – It
is time to face our demons and demand release
from the chains keeping us prisoner. This indicates
a “Dark Night of the Soul” where
we must face our greatest fears and addictions
(drugs, alcohol, gambling, depressions, shopping,
obsessive relationships, etc.). The devil's chains
cannot hold us unless we allow them power over
us. The Three of Swords -- the famous card of
a broken heart, but sometimes hurtful words of
truth must be spoken in order to heal.
Couples
cannot “fix” a troubled relationship,
unless both willingly accept responsibility for
the problems. Neither can force the other to
change, unwillingly, nor can they shoulder the
burdens and guilt, alone. Individuals grow, change
and mature throughout their lives and, so should
a relationship, if it is to survive. There is
a tenant in Wicca which teaches, “You
will never find outside of yourself, what you
already
have within.” We cannot expect to be truly
loved by another until we know beyond a doubt
that we deserve to be loved AND have learned
to love ourselves, first. There is great danger
in expecting a partner to fulfill what is seemingly missing in our lives.
Clients sometimes begin
looking for a new relationship before the ink
is dry on their divorce papers.
Of course, we all want to be loved, but there
is danger if we escape from a failed relationship,
drag along it's old, scarred baggage, and expect
to leap into a new frying pan right away. Buy
that Valentine, but put it into a self-addressed
envelope, instead – honor yourself and
heal! The renewed heart will be so much more
willing to accept love and Cupid can do his job.
If you substitute lust/sex for love/self-empowerment,
you risk sharing the fate of the lovers as depicted
on the Rider-Waite Tarot; where two halves of
an ego are forever reaching to clasp the other's
hand, but forever denied a connection until they
can resolve their dark and light aspects and
learn to accept the promises within the Garden
of Eden.
When consulting a reader regarding
your divine compliment, use some common sense.
There
are
psychics who claim they can tell exactly the
date and time you will meet your future mate
and sometimes provide a detailed description
of him or her, including a name or profession.
I am absolutely NOT questioning their abilities
to give such details, but I do question the
client who places complete, blind trust in
that prediction
to the exclusion of all other possibilities.
For example, if a reader told you that they
saw you riding in a red sedan, would you rush
out
to buy one even if you preferred to drive an
SUV and hated the color red? Likewise, because
a mate was promised in x-number of years, should
you put your attention back to your daily routine
and go about your business until that exact
date? I would hope not. It is always possible
that
the prediction was given on the psychic's off-day
or that your destined meeting was for quite
another reason than for love. No matter how
much you
trust your reader's abilities, your dreams
and choices are safest in your own hands. The
choices
that only YOU can make create your future and
affect the reading's actual outcome or time
line.
If
I ask a client to tell me exactly WHAT they
want in a relationship, their answers vary
from
silence to “no idea”. Cupid is too
small to drag that perfect mate to you and it
is unlikely that your reader will shop for you,
either; so, you have to get off the couch and
get out there -- Meet new people, go to new places,
strike up a conversation with someone new, or
get away from that hectic job and take that dream
cruise. If you want Cupid's help, you have to
be a better target. Put away that romance novel
and take a reality check. You may discover some
great things about yourself or reawaken some
foolish dreams whose time may have come, at last.
Staying safe and focused is only valid for careers,
but not very stimulating for the love life. I
do not suggest you either set unrealistic goals
or lower your standards, but if you want love
you have to welcome it. It is nearly impossible
to be blissfully happy 100% of the time. Life
just doesn't work that way. Yet, if we can achieve
a relationship that is half reality and half
happily-ever-after, we have indeed found a divine
compliment.
Just for fun, if you want
to explore a purely sensual, sexy side of the
tarot, I highly
recommend
Corrine Kenner's book, THE TALL DARK
STRANGER: Tarot for Love and Romance (note
2) The subject matter is romance and how to apply
the tarot in creating
ways to enchant and enhance ones romantic life.
I adore her writing style and her suggestions
are perfect for Valentine's Day or any day
you wish to infuse love and tarot together.
There
are thousands of rituals, spells, magical amulets
and potions for help with sexual relations
or to attract love. If you wish to get Cupid's
attention, you may try this. You will need
2 pink tapirs, candle holders, a glass bowl
of
water mixed with a handful of sea salt, and
a pen and paper. Begin at a New Moon and continue
as the moon waxes, bringing energy toward you.
Begin by placing the bowl of water in the center
of a table and the candle holders at the extreme
ends. Then carve the candles as follows: Candle
#1 – carve a heart shape and the words
- “my divine compliment”. Use absolutely,
NO names, even if you have someone in mind --
That is manipulative, dark magic. Place this
candle in the right (masculine) holder and light
it.
Candle #2 – carve your name, birth date
or Zodiac symbol, and a heart. Speak your intention
- “By art, this candle burns as I,
seeking a divine compliment for a love relationship,
one who comes willingly, for my highest good
with harm to none. So mote it be.” Place
it in the holder at the left (feminine) side
and light it. (Note: Males should reverse the
candle positions and carve, accordingly.)
Put
paper and pen before you and meditate on your
desired mate. Write a list of attributes
you want (i.e., a good work ethic, compassion,
kind eyes and speaks truthfully). Descriptions
that are too specific will set impossible limits
(I.e., looking for “tall, dark and
handsome” may
eliminate a perfect “short, blond,
and not quite so handsome”) If you have problems
with visualization, pretend you writing up
an order from The Catalog of Perfect Mates.
Place
your list under the bowl of water, extinguish
the candles. Each consecutive day move the
candles toward the water a distance equal to
their width
and re-light them. Repeat the visualization
but avoid the temptation to imagine face by
seeing
it covered by a hood or mask – Go for
it ladies, Zorro is a dashing, fictitious figure.
Magic is equally as powerful and effective
as
the effort and energy expended by the practitioner,
but don't drive yourself crazy if it isn't
perfect.
The
ritual is finished, when the candles touch
the sides of bowl. Go through the meditation
one last, but allow the candles to burn completely
down. The last step is to burn the list and
release
the energy of your intention into the ether
-- equivalent to hitting the computer's enter
key,
sending your order electronically. Then, bury
them. If the ground is frozen or you have no
access to a yard or garden, a potted house
plant will do nicely. Now, place your trust
in the
universe to answer.
In conclusion, as February
shivers and flourishes with hearts and flowers,
my hope is that everyone
may experience abundance in the romance department.
For those who may be experiencing unhappiness
or strained relationships, I hope February
will bring blessings for healing. For those
singles
who are searching - open the door when opportunity
knocks and joyfully greet Cupid. For Cupid's
success stories, well, Blessed Be to all those
who have romance in their hearts and cinnamon
candies on their lips. You deserve to be loved
by yourself, everyone
around you, and your
pets, most of all.
HAPPY
VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE
Note
1: Reference: “Wikipedia” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate
Note 2: The Tall Dark Stranger:
Tarot for Love and Romance by
Corrine Kenner. Published by: Llewellyn Publications.
(ISBN 0-7387-0548-9 (© 2005) |
